How the heck did I end up here, anyway?

The time for Christmas 2011 was approaching. Not just any Christmas, but my first Christmas away from my family. I'm 33 years old and have never been away from my family during the holidays. I may not have always been with them on Christmas morning, but always made the trip within a few days. For someone that travels as much as me, it's funny to think that I had spent 31 of 32 Christmases in Wisconsin - one year when I was like 14 the whole family did Christmas in Florida. For all intents and purposes, this was a big one for me. Chrissy #33 in Australia (#34 will be as well, in case you're wondering).

Luckily, I have some amazing friends here in Australia! Not just in Perth either. I didn't want to face it alone, which wouldn't have been a problem with all the lovely people in Perth who invited me over to share their holidays. But with the office closed for 2 weeks (haha America!), I wanted to travel. Hence the trip to Melbourne (see previous blog), and then to Tasmania to see my friends Don and Jenni. Let me tell you a little story:

In 2008-09 the American economy had a major downturn, those were some tough times. I survived the cuts at work, but things still weren't great even after all the downsizing (and it was pretty hard long hours for the remaining). The firm offered voluntary sabbaticals to those still employed - many law and consulting firms offered this as a way to retain talent but cut costs during a slow time. (I thought sabbaticals were just for professors to write books?) Despite many family members and co-workers thinking I was crazy, I decided to do it. When else in my life would I be able to take an extended period off to travel while still getting a (small) income? (This was before I moved to Australia, mind you. This stuff just doesn't happen in the US.) So I took 8 weeks off, paid at 20%, with a guarantee of my job upon my return. July and August 2009 were a great time - spent with friends, family, my nephew, lots of time in Wisconsin on the boat, lots of gym time, in a wedding in Philadelphia, visiting NYC.....and most significantly, I booked a last minute trip to Spain and Portugal. 

In Spain, I met Don and Jenni, these crazy Tasmanians who were just a blast. We got along splendidly and made jokes about them setting me up with one of their sons. We also talked about how I wanted to work abroad, specifically in Australia but that it hadn't come to fruition (I had been in global mobility talks with Australia when the GFC first hit). In a random twist of fate, Don and Jenni had JUST met a man while vacationing in Morocco who also works for my company in Melbourne! We had a blast for those few weeks and have kept in touch ever since. And I got that guy's (Peter) contact details. I kept in touch with him via email, and he contacted me about a job in Perth a year later. Timing is sometimes bad but forces your hand and to decide what you really want - at that exact time, I had just accepted another job offer and was supposed to start within the month. I almost didn't respond to the Australia job, but I couldn't let the opportunity pass and ended up working it in my favor (although burned a big bridge with the other firm when I rescinded....oh well) and here we are. Isn't life just funny - although it wasn't funny at the time, it was extremely stressful! And it all happened really, really quickly. On a related note, I finally met Peter in person in Melbourne - and I paid for his well-deserved lunch!

That was a long intro into my blog about Tassie. But it's a good story about hard things turning out well, timing seeming bad but being good, exploiting tiny opportunities, small decisions having big outcomes on the direction of your life - that last idea is what the compass tattoo on my ankle is about, if you didn't know. So now you see why I had to go visit Don and Jenni! They are the link that brought it all together. So I boarded my flight from Melbourne and flew across the Bass Straight to Tasmania. More to come about the trip in my next post!

Don and Jenni in Spain 2009

Mad about Melbourne

In December (2011), I finally made my long-awaited trip to the city everyone kept telling me I'd love. Melbourne - which is pronounced "Mel-bin" by these crazy Aussies (why? I still don't know. Jason Bourne would assassinate anyone who tried calling him "Bin") - is known as the cultural capital of Australia. It is the second most populous city after Sydney, and there's a bit of rivalry there going back a long while.

Now before I dive right into all the interesting things about Melbourne, I need to explain why this city fascinated me so much. The average American, having not really researched Australia before, probably has not heard of Melbourne. Sorry Melbourne, but it's true. To most Americans and I dare say a lot of other outsiders, Australia has one major city with a weirdly shaped opera house (which we're not sure if they actually do opera there), and a cool bridge (but not as cool as the San Fran Bridge), that hosts awesome fireworks on New Year's Eve. We watch the Sydney fireworks with the interest of "someday maybe I'll go there", literally HOURS before even getting the beer or showering for our own NYE parties. We think that the Great Barrier Reef is right off the coast of Sydney, that there are kangaroos everywhere, and that the rest of the country is a red desert full of giant insects that will kill us - with three exceptions:

1. In the middle of the country there is a massive red rock in the desert sort of like Stone Henge.
2. There must also be a swamp where both Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin taunted crocs and snakes.
3. We have no idea where or how this is possible in a hot desert, but there is also that mountain that the "Man From Snowy River" rode down.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that the second biggest city (4.1M) is Melbourne (which still gets a laugh every time I say it wrong), a culturally significant metropolis and the capital of the state of Victoria (there are states in Australia? another thing most Americans don't know.) Melbourne was founded in 1835 by settlers from Tasmania (then called Van Diemen's Land....read more about Tasmania in my next blog). It had a major gold rush in the 1850's that pushed its population over Sydney's, and made it the center of commerce and one of the world's largest and wealthiest cities. The population of Australia TRIPLED during this time. Many settlers came from Europe (notably Ireland) and China to try their hand at finding gold. It was also the seat of government when Australia became federated in 1901, until 1927 (when the capital moved to purpose built Canberra, in an attempt to make both / neither Sydney or Melbourne happy).

It's such a cool and vibrant city that whenever I told anyone at work that I was visiting, they got nervous that I would want to transfer. Then they'd say, "The weather is so crazy there! It's so cold, oh yeah you like cooler weather, you'll like it! It gets all types of weather in just one hour! The coffee is SO much better there! ohh the shopping is great!" It seems like Perth has a bit of a crush on Melbourne. They talk about it way more than, say, Sydney.

I was lucky enough to have a friend from Perth who had recently moved to Melbourne, and she and her roommate were awesome enough to let me crash in their apartment. But first, upon my arrival, we spent the weekend driving along the Great Ocean Road from Melbourne to Lorne. It is a really beautiful drive along the Southern Ocean (and a bit harrowing for the driver who doesn't really get to enjoy the sights).

Along the Great Ocean Road

Great Ocean Road near Lorne

The rest of the week, I explored Melbourne and it lived up to all the hype. Laneways of coffee houses, open air cafes, artwork, trams, shops, shoes, lunches, the Royal Botanic Gardens, Federation Square, Queen Victoria night market, great restaurants, cool places for drinks at night. Melbourne is filled with all these different neighborhoods that each have their own personality (Fitzroy, Richmond, Toorak, Prahan, St Kilda, etc.) I went to the top of the Eureka sky deck (88 stories up) and looked down over the city. I hadn't been in such a tall skyscraper since leaving Chicago. On a beautiful day I took a tram down to St. Kilda to the beach. One day another friend (who moved from Perth - pattern?) and I drove out to the Dandenongs (a low mountain range with beautiful forests of Mountain Ash trees). Back in the city, I walked around the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Grounds), which is by far the most famous stadium in Australia. Both cricket and Aussie Rules Football ("footy") are played there. Melbourne (or Melbs, as people call it), is a major sporting city - cricket, horse racing (the famous Melbourne Cup), the Australian Open, and get this - TEN of the 18 AFL teams are based here. Which, as a Chicagoan for 7 years, I ask - are you crazy? Even the Cubs / White Sox rivalry was enough to cause problems!

Melbourne, overall, was worth the wait and I hope to spend some more time there. Who's in?

The famed MCG

Leafy streets with a downtown tram

One of many Laneways

Flinders Street Station

Melbourne skyline from across the Yarra River

Melbourne from the Eureka Skydeck

St Kilda's Beach on a nice day

Phuket and Phi Phi Paradise

New Rule - I have to finish blogging about my last trip before I leave on the next trip. Since I am leaving for the holidays to visit Melbourne and various cities in Tasmania, I am forcing myself to write this last blog about my Thailand trip in Sept/Oct! I have to start this post by reminding everyone that Thailand (along with other countries along the Indian Ocean) suffered extensive damage and lives lost in the 2004 Tsumani (caused by the Indian Ocean earthquake in Dec 04). An estimated 230,000 people were killed, 8,000 in Thailand alone. So during this part of my trip, I always tried to remember that Dec 04 was not that long ago.

 

I flew out of Chiang Mai to Phuket, which is Thailand's largest island and a major tourist destination. In a weird way I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and decided to stay at Patong, the craziest most touristy part of Phuket (not normally my thing). Upon arrival, I walked along the beach and also found myself at Bang La Road, which is the famous pedestrian street/scene. There, I found the (in)famous "lady boys", many old white men with young Thai girls (and boys), and also had many whispers in my ear to watch "ping pong show". Secretly, I desparately wanted to see the famous ping-pong shows but I just couldn't bring myself walk down a dark alley with a strange Thai man by myself. I'm too embarrassed to even elude to what a ping pong show is, so you'll just have to find out for yourself. I'd like to take a moment and make a note to Asian (descendent) girls who are visiting Thailand. Don't be upset with me, as I am just an observer of human-kind. But girls, please cover it. If you dress revealing-ly (slutty) in Patong, don't be upset when men mistake you for a lady of the night. A tactic that some Chinese couples were using was to dress in matching outfits. The louder and uglier the outfits, the better (rainbows, Hello Kitty, etc). This helped them find each other in the crowd, but also made it crystal clear that the girl was taken.

 

All in all, I could only handle Patong in very short bursts. I'm not surprised as it is really not my scene. Not to mention it rained almost the whole time I was there....not just rained, but poured. It would stop raining, I would go walk around and then it was a constant barrage of "tuk tuk?" "massage?" "look in here" etc. (Although the fake product shopping did provide me with the thrilling experience of buying a LV and a Prada from the "back room" for the first time....I didn't know if I was being led to the good stuff or to my death.) Now I can also say I've survived a monsoon. To leave Patong, I had to wade through knee-high water with rolled pants and holding my shoes and bags. I don't even want to think about the diseases I could get from that water. Remember Chiang Mai and the flooded hotel? However, these are the risks of traveling at somewhat off-peak times to avoid the crowds. I have to admit, I was glad to be leaving Phuket and heading to the paradise island of Phi Phi.

 

The Phi Phi (said like "pee pee") Islands are technically 6 islands, with one main island (Phi Phi Don) that is the biggest and the only one inhabited. The second largest island is Phi Phi Lee, which is more famous, as it is home to THE beach in the movie "The Beach" with Leonardo DiCaprio (Maya Bay). Before I could enjoy Phi Phi, I had to get there via ferry. The good news is, I think I've pretty much outgrown seasickness, or at least I have my rituals to prevent it. The bad news is, I don't think I'll ever outgrow my gag reflex when other people vomit. (To my future children, I'm sorry in advance for gagging when you get sick.) It was a very rough and rainy morning, and it all started ok with me abiding by my sea-travel rules - minty gum, watching the horizon, being outside if possible, and listening to my iPod LOUD and concentrating on the music. As the 90 minutes passed, things started unraveling around me. Once the first girl went, it wasn't long before others followed. Probably at least 10 in all. PLEASE people, I implore you. If you normally get seasick, don't eat a huge meal before boarding. If you feel sick go outside - it will either make you feel better or at the very least you will be sick outside instead of inside the boat with the rest of the people. And parents, for crying out loud, sit with your kids! And clean up their mess if they get sick, instead of just moving to a different location! Friggin people.

 

After all that, the rain cleared up and my arrival to Phi Phi was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The cliffs still had a mist over them from the rain, like we had arrived in some mystical place. The islands in the Andaman Sea just rise up out of nowhere with jagged straight cliffs. I had booked a private bungalow which was one more stop away from the main town (yes, by boat). There are only water taxis here, no cars; and just some golf carts on the resort grounds. I felt some apprehension as all the young or single people got off at the town, feeling that maybe I should've stayed in town with the rest of the singles. But how do you know when booking these things how you will feel? When I booked, I wanted to be as far away from civilization as possible. I was fed up with work and life and people and just needed some time away.

 

I loved Phi Phi, and I even loved staying on the secluded part of the island. It did become reminiscient of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" at the restaurant - "How many? Oh just one? Are you sure? Only you?" but I just decided to suck it up and enjoy the privacy, silence, and sheer amazing beauty around me. Hiking, a massage, accidentally burning myself by the infinity pool, etc. Looking around Phi Phi, it was not hard to forget about the earthquake and tsunami. Much of the infrastructure has been rebuilt; and now there are memorials, signs pointing out the Tsunami Evacuation Route, and warning alarm siren towers. 

 

You may have noticed that I did a lot of flying on this trip (6 flights total). On my last leg from Singapore to Perth, not only was I in the middle of the middle section, but even worse was that my neighbor was a British woman in her late 40s. Normal sized at least. But she seriously complained and moaned about everything on the face of the planet. ("It's all bloody rubbish, my flight was late from London so I didn't even get time to stretch my legs, rubbish, traveling is rubbish, airlines are all rubbish, this airport is crap, etc etc etc.") I guess I just don't understand whining about traveling as if someone has tried to slight you personally. Maybe I've traveled so much that I expect things to go wrong. Louis CK says it best - check out his take on it:  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk). Since I have moved to Perth where Brits outnumber anyone else (sometimes maybe Australians!), I have to share a joke. How do you know a flight has arrived from England? The engine is off but the plane is still whining.

 

Other Observations

• Sometimes eating out alone can be wonderful, and sometimes it can get old. But you can't just get stuck talking to anyone, so pick your conversations wisely. These annoying american frat guys sat down next to me and started telling drunken stories. All the while, one guy facing me (I had my back turned away) would throw in comments like "I can't tell if she's hot" and "oh yeah she is kinda cute, ima talk to her" - literally a foot away from me. I was finally making a run for it and he turned around to talk to me. And I made up some fake accent ("no english") and got the hell outta there! Could not listen to them for another minute. 
• Fish spas - where they eat calluses and dead skin off your feet. That is freakin disgusting, I don't get the appeal. Seems like a good way to spread bacteria.
• VERY IMPORTANT: It doesn't matter where the tropical island is - White women should never ever ever I repeat never get their hair braided into rows and beads. If you have a friend that wants to, do not let them do it. (Remember the Friends episode where Monica does it?)

Rain and more rain in Phuket, And then more rain, and then a flood

Like Hell I would leave my hubbie here!

Gorgeous Phi Phi Island

Tsunami victim's memorial at the hotel

My beautiful last day....burned myself to a crisp which
made for a super awesome flight home

More Phi Phi beautifulness

Everyday Life Series - 1

I really wanted to start a series of blogs about my everyday life here in Australia. There are lots of little things that happen or just general observations that make me think, "I should blog about that" but I always wonder if people want to hear about regular life stuff or if it will be boring. 

 

Guess what? Most days, I get up, go to work, come home, maybe do something else at night (gym, band rehearsal, something with friends....depends on the night), eat something, and go to bed. Just like a day anywhere, really. But that is being too simplistic. The truth also is, even if I don't notice them at the time, I face little challenges every day that in the end, will add up to me being different. Maybe not better, but definitely different (and I hope better too). Most of the time it's funny stuff like language, food, driving, funny things that happen at work, etc. I'm just doing my best to get by, be good at my job, meet new people, and not have people laugh at me (too much) and my silly American-isms, or cause any driving accidents.

 

After nine months, driving on the left has become so natural that I don't think about it much.....so natural that sometimes I scare myself because I'm NOT thinking about it, therefore I must be doing it wrong. I no longer think round-a-bouts are strange, and frankly I kind of enjoy them. My language is starting to slowly adjust. I don't have to think twice anymore when someone asks me, "how ya going?" or proclaims "good on ya!". The words "reckon" and "mate", and ending a sentence with "hey?" are now part of my daily language. I try, but pretty much fail miserably, to talk in kilometers instead of miles, Celsius instead of Fahrenheit, and kilos instead of pounds.

 

At work, my head no longer spins at the notion of a career break or long-service leave. The sight of a 2-ring binder full of A4 paper no longer makes me giggle. But I still don't know what all the paper sizes are (A4, A5....buncha more A's?) I know the system makes more sense than ours, but I still just refer to A4 as "almost 8x10".  I mostly self-correct my spelling but it is a conscious effort (humour, organisation, theatre). The date annotation is still hard for me.....21/9 is easy (Sept 21), but what about 2/9? I jump to Feb 9 straight away. Another die-hard habit is that summer, to me, will ALWAYS be June-August. But here it is opposite. So when I say I'm going home next summer, we are talking about different times of the year!

 

But some stuff I think about is more personal. I've actually always really enjoyed my time alone, and recharge from it in order to be my normal happy, social self. Most would say I was already extremely independent before moving here. In fact, I may have been called "annoyingly independent" by an ex. And now being so isolated and really not depending on anyone for anything (although I appreciate any help, I never really expect or ask for it)....I'm afraid I might be past the point of no return. Will I ever be able to stand another person enough to have them around all the time? Will I be able to travel with a spouse / boyfriend and not get to do exactly what I want to do at all times? Have I completely overshot independence right into spinster crazy cat lady? While I'm on a roll, what in the world am I doing with my life? Am I really going to stay in Australia, this far away from my family? FFS, is this even doing anything for me? Should I just move back to Wisconsin (forget Chicago) and start having some babies like a normal 32 year old? If I DO just move back in another year and this hasn't really progressed my career, then what in the hell am I wasting this time for? I haven't even met my nephew! As you can see I can sometimes get a bit manic over the whole thing.

 

To remind myself that I am normal and these are all normal feelings, I like to refer back to the psychological steps that happen when moving to a foreign country - honeymoon, negotiation, adjustment, and mastery. The Honeymoon period is when you think everything is amazing and are giddy with excitement. Definitely over that. The Negotiation phase is when you stop just being excited to be there, and have some anxiety about all the choices you've made (the "Expat Blues"). You may even start to recall how great your home country is compared with the new country. There can be some psychological effects in this phase resembling depression, that are hard to understand what is wrong. And I know I've been (or am) there....weight gain, sleeplessness, crying while doing sit ups at the gym are all probably good indications of that one. But don't worry, I am fine:)  A crazy person doesn't recognise that they are crazy. Adjustment is when you start to return to basic normal living again, getting more into routines, and can appreciate good things about both places. I'm honestly probably at the beginning of Adjustment, with some slippage back into Negotiation on a bad day every once in awhile. Which is pretty normal. This is NOT a waste of time....even if all I get from it is 2 awesome years in Australia, tons more friends, more work experience, and lots of cool travel. Sounds pretty amazing to me.  

Side view of the KPMG building - only 8 stories

My work area (before I got my big screen)

A rainbow view from the office; rainy day in winter, out over the
Convention Centre and the Swan River, to South Perth

View of the CBD down St Georges Terrace (where my office is)

Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai is the largest city in northern Thailand and a former capital of the Kingdom of Lanna (1296-1768). It sits on the Ping River, a major tributary of the Chao Praya that runs through Bangkok, located in the rolling, lush foothills of the Himalayas. Here's just a reminder of my journey - from Singapore I flew to Bangkok, then up north to Chiang Mai, then down to Phuket.

 

 

Upon arrival in Chiang Mai, I was picked up from the airport by the most beautiful tiny Thai girl - except for her very dark mustache and her bright blue contacts. (I am a firm believer that those colored contacts are ridiculous - hello, it's not like we all don't know, people!) I immediately thought, why wouldn't she just wax? Followed swiftly by another thought - why should she have to? She is gorgeous in every other way and I am just imposing my silly, vain, western beliefs on her. She informed me in the nicest possible cute voice "I have bad news, your hotel is flooded so we have to wade through water to get there." Apparently the hotel itself was not underwater but the road to get there was. The Ping had overflowed with some of the worst flooding in years (you may have heard in the news about the following floods in Bangkok). I was dubious about our future journey but wanted to withhold judgement until I saw the damage for myself.

 

The driver took Nana (my guide) and me as far as the car could go and dropped us off on a corner with my suitcase. I turned around and saw the flood waters before me. People were wading through waist deep water, with children on their shoulders and holding their shoes. There were big tank looking things carrying Thai workers to and fro. There were sand bags everywhere. I looked at my suitcase, which I was apparently expected to carry above my head, and said, "I think I should try another hotel, don't you?" She looked relieved to not have to drag herself through the flood either, and helped me find a new hotel. 

  

The flooding preventing me from getting to my hotel -
it got much deeper farther in!

While we waited for the driver to come back around, I asked her the obvious - is she is wearing contacts? She replies yes, they all want eyes like westerners because we have blue, gold, green; all the pretty colors, while they are stuck with brown. She also has a slight curl in her hair and straightens it everyday to be straight like mine. I was thinking, but didn't say, that western women probably all want her clear skin and 12 year old body, since that's what men seem to want these days. Instead, I said something like "I think we all just want what we don't have" which she thought was very wise. But it brings me back to my first question - if she is willing to fry her hair straight and shove blue plastic in her eyeballs everyday, why wouldn't she take the time to wax her lip once a month? Maybe she doesn't know just how much hair removal us "westerners" actually do.

Chiang Mai was really more of a place to relax, walk around, shop, and appreciate nature and the beauty of the place. It was quieter in general and the people were extremely polite and quiet. It is a "walled city" with a moat surrounding the old city, which was very charming. The city itself is only approx 160,000 people, but the metro area sprawls to about a million - although I would have never known that given how quiet and relaxed the old city was (where I spent most of my time).  

  

Buddhist Monk at a temple

Chiang Mai was most memorable as the place that I spent a day with elephants and tigers.  Nana and our driver picked me up and took me around for the day. I went on an elephant ride and saw the elephant "show", where they play soccer, paint, shoot baskets, etc. It's one of those things that I feel a little strange about - the elephants thrive on having "jobs" since they don't really move stuff anymore, however you wonder exactly how they are treated or trained. It all seems nice in front of the tourists.

  

Riding my elephant and taking in the luscious view

 

Bath time is the most fun!

The Tiger Kingdom was a strange experience. I really, really wanted to pet/kiss/hug/manhandle/generally be around a tiger on this trip. But being in the pens and up close and personal with the tigers is a little disconcerting. I wasn't afraid at all (I'm not sure if I have that gene)....but that was the strangest part. How can you be in with a tiger and not be a little scared. These huge, strong, fierce animals were just sleeping and laying around. I asked Nana if the tigers are drugged -- VERY faux pas -- of course she said no. The tigers are nocturnal and sleepy during the day....they are fed very well in the morning so visitors don't tempt them.....they are raised with humans so used to the interactions....all sorts of replies but I still couldn't shake the guilty feeling. With both the elephants and the tigers, it's like I know I was contributing to a problem, but still didn't have a choice because there was NO way I wasn't going to take advantage of the opportunity. Know what I mean? I think even my sister, the vet, would have gone to both these places.

That's my hand!!

So amazing

Sleepy guy, with huge teeth

Other notable things about Chiang Mai:

• One of the best parts was the cheap Thai massage places. I love the Thai massage technique. (This trip was my first experience). I'm one of those people that thinks a massage should kind of hurt though, if it's done right. I like it rough (haha). It's probably not for everyone. But here you could get 90 minute Thai massage - at a really nice spa, not a weird hole in the wall - for like 150 baht (about $6). Bangkok was also affordable, but Phuket and Phi were both expensive. Chiang Mai was definitely the place to get a massage (or any other spa treatment).
• Tuk tuks are everywhere (3 wheeled motorised vehicles for transport). However, the songthaeow is definitely the most popular way to get around cheaply. It's basically an (old, loud) pick-up truck with the bed converted into benches for passengers, with a cover built on. 
• Chiang Mai has a substantial ex-pat population. I met a few "investors" at dinner one night, one american and one australian, who are living here like gods with their young Thai brides. Not making overall judgements, but these 2 guys really creeped me out. It just all seemed really suspect to me. They both were "investors" in local clubs and hotels.
• Just a note, if you are a caucasian man with an asian younger (or younger-looking) partner, you will probably get some looks in Thailand (from locals as well as tourists) as assumptions are made. It may not be fair, but that is the way it is, so just be prepared. (Asian men with caucasian women doesn't seem to raise an eyebrow though).
• Nana wore around her neck, in a plastic encasing, a US $1 bill folded so that the pyramid on the back was shown. I asked her about it. She said that Thais consider the triangle as a symbol for wisdom, and the break in the pyramid (it has no top) means "always keep searching for wisdom." These were a Thai's words about our US dollar. I had never really carefully looked at a dollar before or pondered the meaning of all the symbols. Maybe it's because I haven't seen any US money in so long, but this made me sad. So of course, I had to do some research. I highly recommend doing the same, as it was pretty interesting!

As Nana and our driver took me to the airport to fly to Phuket, I saw a huge netting thing and asked Nana what it was. The driver, who had been with me for several days and never uttered a word, piped up and said "Mosquito Farm....we send them all to your country." The bugger spoke english the whole time!!!!

 

Bangkok or Bust

After my wonderful (but tiring) stopover in Singapore, my flight landed in Bangkok around 10:30pm. By the time I got through immigration, got my luggage, met my driver, checked into the hotel, and showered, it was close to 2am before hitting the hay. Considering I only had about 2 hours of sleep the night before I was pretty exhausted! The next morning I slept in somewhat, changed some Aussie dollars for Thai bahts (1 AUD = approx 30 baht), and went out exploring. The first time I left the hotel and walked around in Bangkok was, in a word, overwhelming. Crowds, cars, mopeds, honking, sights, sounds, smells, electrical wires, food stalls, market stalls, people everywhere. Bangkok's official population is around 9 million people, and the greater Bangkok area has a population of almost 12 million. I know you might be thinking how horrible that sounds but read on. I actually really, really liked Bangkok and would like to go back.

Not sure these electrical wires are up to code!

 

I made my way to the riverbank to negotiate for a long-tailed boat tour of the river and canals. An elaborate network of canals (khlongs) gave Bangkok the nickname "Venice of the East", however lots of the canals have been filled in to make streets. Many khlongs still exist with people living along them and markets often being operated along the banks, but most are severely polluted and pretty disgusting. Still the canals are a great way to see the city (and even have their own system of locks to go from the main wide river Chao Phraya in/out of the canals). The private long-tail boat is a nice, but loud, way to travel. I would suggest some earplugs as the motor is in the boat with you, and just the propellor is in the water. Everything was going well until the skies opened up and it started pouring rain. I now know what Forrest Gump was talking about when he said it was raining straight up from underneath!

 

The engine is located IN the boat

 

There are over 400 temples in Bangkok (out of the approximately 4,000 in Thailand). A temple without an educated explanation doesn't mean much, so I decided to go on a guided Temple and City Tour. I'm very intrigued with Buddhism actually - not so much as a religion, but as a way of life. Thai culture is very beatiful, and much of this has to do with their practice of Buddhism. Our guide was wonderful and very patient with everyone's questions. My favorite part is that it focuses on man and actions, not on gods. The main ideas are karma and reincarnation. Good and bad deeds in this life will be merits or punishments in the next. All actions have consequences. Inside temples, the proper sitting position is cross legged - do not point your feet at Buddha or at other people, this is an insult as the feet are considered the lowest part of body.  

 



The Golden Buddha at Wat Traimit - wasn't discovered until 1955 when it was being moved, and the plaster covering it cracked when the crane broke under its weight (5.5 tonnes!)

 That evening I decided to go to Siam Niramit, "the must-see show of Thailand," with a group from my hotel. There was a lovely older American gentleman who worked for - get this - the PCAOB (an accounting regulatory body that has a lot to do with companies like mine). He was in Bangkok for a global regulatory meeting with all the big accounting firms, and Michael Andrew was even there (the KPMG Global Chairman). Also there was a nice German couple. And the fattest man I've ever seen walking. The Germans thought for sure he was American (because he was fat) and it turned out he was German hahahahha!!!! I'm finding that I tend to get along with the Germans when I travel, something I never thought would be true. But I always seem to be drawn to their sense of order and calmness. And they seem to be drawn to my light-heartedness, inappropriate humor, and "wow an American who travels". We give each other knowing looks and share inside jokes, even after meeting only minutes before. Maybe it's my 50% German blood coursing through these veins.

 

The show was amazing, performed on apparently the tallest stage in the world (in the Guinness Book of World Records) and has over 500 costumes. It basically tells little stories to help illustrate the history of various regions in Thailand. One of the tales shows a version of Nirvana, and a version of Hell (or purgatory, before being reincarnated), including the actions that will send you there and the corresponding punishments. Drinking alcohol? Made to drink boiling water. Sexual misconduct? Made to climb a painful tree of thorns. I lost track after the alcohol one, thinking I need to seriously reassess my life. There was of course a section requiring audience member participation. First, some background. I was wearing this dress from Zara that I bought ages ago. It still miraculously fits, pretty much due to the stretchy material. Anywho, the woman picking people out of the audience walks towards me....and I realise that I CANNOT go up on stage. I literally start screaming in my head, hoping she was telepathic, "No! No! No! My dress is see through!" Kind of like the little boy in "The Shining." See, the dress is fine for a night on the town, dinner, sitting at a show, etc....but get me in front of a spotlight and I'd be like Monica singing "Delta Dawn" in the Friends episode, The One Where Monica Sings. Well I don't know if it was telepathy or the sheer look of sweaty terror on my face, but she chose the guy next to me. Crisis averted.

 

Anyway the show was nice, and there were even 2 live elephants! They were out front for photos and rides before the show, in the act itself, and then after the show they were brought directly outside while we all exited. These poor big guys didn't even get a break. Well, one decided to take some time for himself and started pooping. People kind of started giggling -- I immediately started moving away. Then the big boy let loose a gushing river of urine. I thought Noah's Arc may be necessary for those who hadn't found higher ground. People were running, kids were crying, and women were screaming. High heels were ruined that night in Bangkok, folks. By a massive river of pee.

The elephant who sent people running

 

All in all, I had a great time in Bangkok and would have liked to spent more time there. But, off to Chiang Mai I headed - to the land of elephants and tigers....and LOTS of rain (while I was there anyway)! More to come.

 

The views of kids playing from my river cruise

Along the river cruise

Wat Benchamabophit - "the marble temple"

Wat Pho - the 3rd largest reclining Buddha in the world

The "prangs" (spires) outside temples - they appear with important religious buildings

A Day in Singapore

The Republic of Singapore is a city-state at the tip of the Malay Peninsula, less than a hundred miles north of the equator. It's hot. It was occupied by the Japanese in WWII and reverted to British rule after the war, then united with other former British territories to form Malaysia in 1963. It became a fully independent state two years later. Since then it has had a massive increase in wealth. Singapore is a world leader in several areas; financial centre, casino gambling market, oil refining, and logistics. The port of Singapore is one of the busiest ports in the world and thousands of ships drop anchor here. All this leads to Singapore having the world's highest percentage of millionaire households, with 15% of households being millionaires (in USD)! 

Singapore Harbour

Port of Singapore - just imagine all the illegal stuff in those containers!

The judicial system in Singapore is somewhat famous, who can forget the controversy that gripped America and even got President Bill Clinton involved (a mistake in my opinion), surrounding the caning of 18 year old Michael Fay for vandalism?  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_P._Fay  Singapore uses caning (as corporal punishment) for things like rape, rioting, vandalism, etc. Crimes like murder and some drug-trafficking carry a mandatory death penalty. Amnesty International has said that Singpore has "possibly the highest execution rate in the world relative to its population". The crime rate in Singapore is very very very low, so needless to say I was not worried about my safety in the least. As always, I try to research a country before I go, since once there I must follow their laws and customs....such as the ban on chewing gum and being conservative in dress (not that I normally dress like a hoochie or anything).

My first glimpse of Singapore from the air was of the massive and busy port, with all the ships coming, going, or waiting. Once on the ground, I went through immigration, got my bags, got changed, and found a place to hold my suitcase. I have to take a moment to rave about the Singapore airport. I have seen my fair share of airports through the years and this is my favorite so far. I could have easily spent 3 or 4 hours just hanging out. It has a butterfly house, a rooftop pool area, sleeping rooms for rent, an enforced-quiet nap area, tons of shopping and spas, etc. But I wanted to see the city, so I caught the train. Once in the city I then tried to find my way around all these crazy barricades. I had chosen to arrive on the morning after the Grand Prix (Formula 1), so all the streets were still blocked off, the grandstands still up, litter blowing around empty streets. I finally found my way to the Singapore Flyer, the biggest observation wheel in the world and took a spin. 

Singapore Flyer

 I then walked over the Helix Bridge to the Marina Bay Sands area. In the casino area, there are 2 theatres for productions, a huge multi-level mall, ice skating rink....it's like Vegas on steroids. I literally had to rip myself away from the shops and headed to the hotel towers so I could go up on the observation deck. After taking a look around, I ponied on up to the bar, next to a few decent looking blokes (there were plenty of blokey guys around, being the day after the F1). And I proceeded to order a Singapore Slammer. The lovely and friendly bartender just smiles and says "I think you mean a Singapore Sling, that's what's famous." I got a few snickers from the peanut gallery of cute guys. Ah well, no better ice-breaker than making an ass of yourself! So I chatted with the group for awhile and sipped my $30 Singapore Sling while gazing out over a beautiful (if somewhat polluted and hazy) view. One of the guys (from Sydney) even walked me downstairs to tuck me in a cab. Actually he asked what I was doing the rest of the day. But who can forget Bridget Jones' Diary 2 or Brokedown Palace; where a handsome stranger dupes girls into unknowingly carrying drugs and end up in Thai prisons? No thank you.  

Helix Bridge, Marina Bay Sands, Casino, Art Museum

 Walking through the CBD I accidentally ran smack into....wait for it.....the KPMG office! There's no getting away!  I decided to do a bus tour around the city, and after that it was time to get back on the train to the airport. Right during rush hour - we were packed in like sardines, which reminded me of Chicago. I can't wait to someday go back, see some more sights, go to the Botanic Gardens, go to Sentosa, and go shopping on the famous Orchard Road. Too many places to see! Separate blog posts will cover the rest of my trip to Thailand, stay tuned!