Wisconsin Girl in Perth: Bangkok or Bust

After my wonderful (but tiring) stopover in Singapore, my flight landed in Bangkok around 10:30pm. By the time I got through immigration, got my luggage, met my driver, checked into the hotel, and showered, it was close to 2am before hitting the hay. Considering I only had about 2 hours of sleep the night before I was pretty exhausted! The next morning I slept in somewhat, changed some Aussie dollars for Thai bahts (1 AUD = approx 30 baht), and went out exploring. The first time I left the hotel and walked around in Bangkok was, in a word, overwhelming. Crowds, cars, mopeds, honking, sights, sounds, smells, electrical wires, food stalls, market stalls, people everywhere. Bangkok's official population is around 9 million people, and the greater Bangkok area has a population of almost 12 million. I know you might be thinking how horrible that sounds but read on. I actually really, really liked Bangkok and would like to go back.

Not sure these electrical wires are up to code!

I made my way to the riverbank to negotiate for a long-tailed boat tour of the river and canals. An elaborate network of canals (khlongs) gave Bangkok the nickname "Venice of the East", however lots of the canals have been filled in to make streets. Many khlongs still exist with people living along them and markets often being operated along the banks, but most are severely polluted and pretty disgusting. Still the canals are a great way to see the city (and even have their own system of locks to go from the main wide river Chao Phraya in/out of the canals). The private long-tail boat is a nice, but loud, way to travel. I would suggest some earplugs as the motor is in the boat with you, and just the propellor is in the water. Everything was going well until the skies opened up and it started pouring rain. I now know what Forrest Gump was talking about when he said it was raining straight up from underneath!

The engine is located IN the boat

There are over 400 temples in Bangkok (out of the approximately 4,000 in Thailand). A temple without an educated explanation doesn't mean much, so I decided to go on a guided Temple and City Tour. I'm very intrigued with Buddhism actually - not so much as a religion, but as a way of life. Thai culture is very beatiful, and much of this has to do with their practice of Buddhism. Our guide was wonderful and very patient with everyone's questions. My favorite part is that it focuses on man and actions, not on gods. The main ideas are karma and reincarnation. Good and bad deeds in this life will be merits or punishments in the next. All actions have consequences. Inside temples, the proper sitting position is cross legged - do not point your feet at Buddha or at other people, this is an insult as the feet are considered the lowest part of body.

The Golden Buddha at Wat Traimit - wasn't discovered until 1955 when it was being moved, and the plaster covering it cracked when the crane broke under its weight (5.5 tonnes!)

That evening I decided to go to Siam Niramit, "the must-see show of Thailand," with a group from my hotel. There was a lovely older American gentleman who worked for - get this - the PCAOB (an accounting regulatory body that has a lot to do with companies like mine). He was in Bangkok for a global regulatory meeting with all the big accounting firms, and Michael Andrew was even there (the KPMG Global Chairman). Also there was a nice German couple. And the fattest man I've ever seen walking. The Germans thought for sure he was American (because he was fat) and it turned out he was German hahahahha!!!! I'm finding that I tend to get along with the Germans when I travel, something I never thought would be true. But I always seem to be drawn to their sense of order and calmness. And they seem to be drawn to my light-heartedness, inappropriate humor, and "wow an American who travels". We give each other knowing looks and share inside jokes, even after meeting only minutes before. Maybe it's my 50% German blood coursing through these veins.

The show was amazing, performed on apparently the tallest stage in the world (in the Guinness Book of World Records) and has over 500 costumes. It basically tells little stories to help illustrate the history of various regions in Thailand. One of the tales shows a version of Nirvana, and a version of Hell (or purgatory, before being reincarnated), including the actions that will send you there and the corresponding punishments. Drinking alcohol? Made to drink boiling water. Sexual misconduct? Made to climb a painful tree of thorns. I lost track after the alcohol one, thinking I need to seriously reassess my life. There was of course a section requiring audience member participation. First, some background. I was wearing this dress from Zara that I bought ages ago. It still miraculously fits, pretty much due to the stretchy material. Anywho, the woman picking people out of the audience walks towards me....and I realise that I CANNOT go up on stage. I literally start screaming in my head, hoping she was telepathic, "No! No! No! My dress is see through!" Kind of like the little boy in "The Shining." See, the dress is fine for a night on the town, dinner, sitting at a show, etc....but get me in front of a spotlight and I'd be like Monica singing "Delta Dawn" in the Friends episode, The One Where Monica Sings. Well I don't know if it was telepathy or the sheer look of sweaty terror on my face, but she chose the guy next to me. Crisis averted.

Anyway the show was nice, and there were even 2 live elephants! They were out front for photos and rides before the show, in the act itself, and then after the show they were brought directly outside while we all exited. These poor big guys didn't even get a break. Well, one decided to take some time for himself and started pooping. People kind of started giggling -- I immediately started moving away. Then the big boy let loose a gushing river of urine. I thought Noah's Arc may be necessary for those who hadn't found higher ground. People were running, kids were crying, and women were screaming. High heels were ruined that night in Bangkok, folks. By a massive river of pee.

The elephant who sent people running

All in all, I had a great time in Bangkok and would have liked to spent more time there. But, off to Chiang Mai I headed - to the land of elephants and tigers....and LOTS of rain (while I was there anyway)! More to come.