Wisconsin Girl in Perth: Phuket and Phi Phi Paradise

New Rule - I have to finish blogging about my last trip before I leave on the next trip. Since I am leaving for the holidays to visit Melbourne and various cities in Tasmania, I am forcing myself to write this last blog about my Thailand trip in Sept/Oct! I have to start this post by reminding everyone that Thailand (along with other countries along the Indian Ocean) suffered extensive damage and lives lost in the 2004 Tsumani (caused by the Indian Ocean earthquake in Dec 04). An estimated 230,000 people were killed, 8,000 in Thailand alone. So during this part of my trip, I always tried to remember that Dec 04 was not that long ago.

I flew out of Chiang Mai to Phuket, which is Thailand's largest island and a major tourist destination. In a weird way I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and decided to stay at Patong, the craziest most touristy part of Phuket (not normally my thing). Upon arrival, I walked along the beach and also found myself at Bang La Road, which is the famous pedestrian street/scene. There, I found the (in)famous "lady boys", many old white men with young Thai girls (and boys), and also had many whispers in my ear to watch "ping pong show". Secretly, I desparately wanted to see the famous ping-pong shows but I just couldn't bring myself walk down a dark alley with a strange Thai man by myself. I'm too embarrassed to even elude to what a ping pong show is, so you'll just have to find out for yourself. I'd like to take a moment and make a note to Asian (descendent) girls who are visiting Thailand. Don't be upset with me, as I am just an observer of human-kind. But girls, please cover it. If you dress revealing-ly (slutty) in Patong, don't be upset when men mistake you for a lady of the night. A tactic that some Chinese couples were using was to dress in matching outfits. The louder and uglier the outfits, the better (rainbows, Hello Kitty, etc). This helped them find each other in the crowd, but also made it crystal clear that the girl was taken.

All in all, I could only handle Patong in very short bursts. I'm not surprised as it is really not my scene. Not to mention it rained almost the whole time I was there....not just rained, but poured. It would stop raining, I would go walk around and then it was a constant barrage of "tuk tuk?" "massage?" "look in here" etc. (Although the fake product shopping did provide me with the thrilling experience of buying a LV and a Prada from the "back room" for the first time....I didn't know if I was being led to the good stuff or to my death.) Now I can also say I've survived a monsoon. To leave Patong, I had to wade through knee-high water with rolled pants and holding my shoes and bags. I don't even want to think about the diseases I could get from that water. Remember Chiang Mai and the flooded hotel? However, these are the risks of traveling at somewhat off-peak times to avoid the crowds. I have to admit, I was glad to be leaving Phuket and heading to the paradise island of Phi Phi.

The Phi Phi (said like "pee pee") Islands are technically 6 islands, with one main island (Phi Phi Don) that is the biggest and the only one inhabited. The second largest island is Phi Phi Lee, which is more famous, as it is home to THE beach in the movie "The Beach" with Leonardo DiCaprio (Maya Bay). Before I could enjoy Phi Phi, I had to get there via ferry. The good news is, I think I've pretty much outgrown seasickness, or at least I have my rituals to prevent it. The bad news is, I don't think I'll ever outgrow my gag reflex when other people vomit. (To my future children, I'm sorry in advance for gagging when you get sick.) It was a very rough and rainy morning, and it all started ok with me abiding by my sea-travel rules - minty gum, watching the horizon, being outside if possible, and listening to my iPod LOUD and concentrating on the music. As the 90 minutes passed, things started unraveling around me. Once the first girl went, it wasn't long before others followed. Probably at least 10 in all. PLEASE people, I implore you. If you normally get seasick, don't eat a huge meal before boarding. If you feel sick go outside - it will either make you feel better or at the very least you will be sick outside instead of inside the boat with the rest of the people. And parents, for crying out loud, sit with your kids! And clean up their mess if they get sick, instead of just moving to a different location! Friggin people.

After all that, the rain cleared up and my arrival to Phi Phi was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The cliffs still had a mist over them from the rain, like we had arrived in some mystical place. The islands in the Andaman Sea just rise up out of nowhere with jagged straight cliffs. I had booked a private bungalow which was one more stop away from the main town (yes, by boat). There are only water taxis here, no cars; and just some golf carts on the resort grounds. I felt some apprehension as all the young or single people got off at the town, feeling that maybe I should've stayed in town with the rest of the singles. But how do you know when booking these things how you will feel? When I booked, I wanted to be as far away from civilization as possible. I was fed up with work and life and people and just needed some time away.

I loved Phi Phi, and I even loved staying on the secluded part of the island. It did become reminiscient of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" at the restaurant - "How many? Oh just one? Are you sure? Only you?" but I just decided to suck it up and enjoy the privacy, silence, and sheer amazing beauty around me. Hiking, a massage, accidentally burning myself by the infinity pool, etc. Looking around Phi Phi, it was not hard to forget about the earthquake and tsunami. Much of the infrastructure has been rebuilt; and now there are memorials, signs pointing out the Tsunami Evacuation Route, and warning alarm siren towers.

You may have noticed that I did a lot of flying on this trip (6 flights total). On my last leg from Singapore to Perth, not only was I in the middle of the middle section, but even worse was that my neighbor was a British woman in her late 40s. Normal sized at least. But she seriously complained and moaned about everything on the face of the planet. ("It's all bloody rubbish, my flight was late from London so I didn't even get time to stretch my legs, rubbish, traveling is rubbish, airlines are all rubbish, this airport is crap, etc etc etc.") I guess I just don't understand whining about traveling as if someone has tried to slight you personally. Maybe I've traveled so much that I expect things to go wrong. Louis CK says it best - check out his take on it: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk). Since I have moved to Perth where Brits outnumber anyone else (sometimes maybe Australians!), I have to share a joke. How do you know a flight has arrived from England? The engine is off but the plane is still whining.

Other Observations

Sometimes eating out alone can be wonderful, and sometimes it can get old. But you can't just get stuck talking to anyone, so pick your conversations wisely. These annoying american frat guys sat down next to me and started telling drunken stories. All the while, one guy facing me (I had my back turned away) would throw in comments like "I can't tell if she's hot" and "oh yeah she is kinda cute, ima talk to her" - literally a foot away from me. I was finally making a run for it and he turned around to talk to me. And I made up some fake accent ("no english") and got the hell outta there! Could not listen to them for another minute.
Fish spas - where they eat calluses and dead skin off your feet. That is freakin disgusting, I don't get the appeal. Seems like a good way to spread bacteria.
VERY IMPORTANT: It doesn't matter where the tropical island is - White women should never ever ever I repeat never get their hair braided into rows and beads. If you have a friend that wants to, do not let them do it. (Remember the Friends episode where Monica does it?)