Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai is the largest city in northern Thailand and a former capital of the Kingdom of Lanna (1296-1768). It sits on the Ping River, a major tributary of the Chao Praya that runs through Bangkok, located in the rolling, lush foothills of the Himalayas. Here's just a reminder of my journey - from Singapore I flew to Bangkok, then up north to Chiang Mai, then down to Phuket.

 

 

Upon arrival in Chiang Mai, I was picked up from the airport by the most beautiful tiny Thai girl - except for her very dark mustache and her bright blue contacts. (I am a firm believer that those colored contacts are ridiculous - hello, it's not like we all don't know, people!) I immediately thought, why wouldn't she just wax? Followed swiftly by another thought - why should she have to? She is gorgeous in every other way and I am just imposing my silly, vain, western beliefs on her. She informed me in the nicest possible cute voice "I have bad news, your hotel is flooded so we have to wade through water to get there." Apparently the hotel itself was not underwater but the road to get there was. The Ping had overflowed with some of the worst flooding in years (you may have heard in the news about the following floods in Bangkok). I was dubious about our future journey but wanted to withhold judgement until I saw the damage for myself.

 

The driver took Nana (my guide) and me as far as the car could go and dropped us off on a corner with my suitcase. I turned around and saw the flood waters before me. People were wading through waist deep water, with children on their shoulders and holding their shoes. There were big tank looking things carrying Thai workers to and fro. There were sand bags everywhere. I looked at my suitcase, which I was apparently expected to carry above my head, and said, "I think I should try another hotel, don't you?" She looked relieved to not have to drag herself through the flood either, and helped me find a new hotel. 

  

The flooding preventing me from getting to my hotel -
it got much deeper farther in!

While we waited for the driver to come back around, I asked her the obvious - is she is wearing contacts? She replies yes, they all want eyes like westerners because we have blue, gold, green; all the pretty colors, while they are stuck with brown. She also has a slight curl in her hair and straightens it everyday to be straight like mine. I was thinking, but didn't say, that western women probably all want her clear skin and 12 year old body, since that's what men seem to want these days. Instead, I said something like "I think we all just want what we don't have" which she thought was very wise. But it brings me back to my first question - if she is willing to fry her hair straight and shove blue plastic in her eyeballs everyday, why wouldn't she take the time to wax her lip once a month? Maybe she doesn't know just how much hair removal us "westerners" actually do.

Chiang Mai was really more of a place to relax, walk around, shop, and appreciate nature and the beauty of the place. It was quieter in general and the people were extremely polite and quiet. It is a "walled city" with a moat surrounding the old city, which was very charming. The city itself is only approx 160,000 people, but the metro area sprawls to about a million - although I would have never known that given how quiet and relaxed the old city was (where I spent most of my time).  

  

Buddhist Monk at a temple

Chiang Mai was most memorable as the place that I spent a day with elephants and tigers.  Nana and our driver picked me up and took me around for the day. I went on an elephant ride and saw the elephant "show", where they play soccer, paint, shoot baskets, etc. It's one of those things that I feel a little strange about - the elephants thrive on having "jobs" since they don't really move stuff anymore, however you wonder exactly how they are treated or trained. It all seems nice in front of the tourists.

  

Riding my elephant and taking in the luscious view

 

Bath time is the most fun!

The Tiger Kingdom was a strange experience. I really, really wanted to pet/kiss/hug/manhandle/generally be around a tiger on this trip. But being in the pens and up close and personal with the tigers is a little disconcerting. I wasn't afraid at all (I'm not sure if I have that gene)....but that was the strangest part. How can you be in with a tiger and not be a little scared. These huge, strong, fierce animals were just sleeping and laying around. I asked Nana if the tigers are drugged -- VERY faux pas -- of course she said no. The tigers are nocturnal and sleepy during the day....they are fed very well in the morning so visitors don't tempt them.....they are raised with humans so used to the interactions....all sorts of replies but I still couldn't shake the guilty feeling. With both the elephants and the tigers, it's like I know I was contributing to a problem, but still didn't have a choice because there was NO way I wasn't going to take advantage of the opportunity. Know what I mean? I think even my sister, the vet, would have gone to both these places.

That's my hand!!

So amazing

Sleepy guy, with huge teeth

Other notable things about Chiang Mai:

• One of the best parts was the cheap Thai massage places. I love the Thai massage technique. (This trip was my first experience). I'm one of those people that thinks a massage should kind of hurt though, if it's done right. I like it rough (haha). It's probably not for everyone. But here you could get 90 minute Thai massage - at a really nice spa, not a weird hole in the wall - for like 150 baht (about $6). Bangkok was also affordable, but Phuket and Phi were both expensive. Chiang Mai was definitely the place to get a massage (or any other spa treatment).
• Tuk tuks are everywhere (3 wheeled motorised vehicles for transport). However, the songthaeow is definitely the most popular way to get around cheaply. It's basically an (old, loud) pick-up truck with the bed converted into benches for passengers, with a cover built on. 
• Chiang Mai has a substantial ex-pat population. I met a few "investors" at dinner one night, one american and one australian, who are living here like gods with their young Thai brides. Not making overall judgements, but these 2 guys really creeped me out. It just all seemed really suspect to me. They both were "investors" in local clubs and hotels.
• Just a note, if you are a caucasian man with an asian younger (or younger-looking) partner, you will probably get some looks in Thailand (from locals as well as tourists) as assumptions are made. It may not be fair, but that is the way it is, so just be prepared. (Asian men with caucasian women doesn't seem to raise an eyebrow though).
• Nana wore around her neck, in a plastic encasing, a US $1 bill folded so that the pyramid on the back was shown. I asked her about it. She said that Thais consider the triangle as a symbol for wisdom, and the break in the pyramid (it has no top) means "always keep searching for wisdom." These were a Thai's words about our US dollar. I had never really carefully looked at a dollar before or pondered the meaning of all the symbols. Maybe it's because I haven't seen any US money in so long, but this made me sad. So of course, I had to do some research. I highly recommend doing the same, as it was pretty interesting!

As Nana and our driver took me to the airport to fly to Phuket, I saw a huge netting thing and asked Nana what it was. The driver, who had been with me for several days and never uttered a word, piped up and said "Mosquito Farm....we send them all to your country." The bugger spoke english the whole time!!!!

 

Bangkok or Bust

After my wonderful (but tiring) stopover in Singapore, my flight landed in Bangkok around 10:30pm. By the time I got through immigration, got my luggage, met my driver, checked into the hotel, and showered, it was close to 2am before hitting the hay. Considering I only had about 2 hours of sleep the night before I was pretty exhausted! The next morning I slept in somewhat, changed some Aussie dollars for Thai bahts (1 AUD = approx 30 baht), and went out exploring. The first time I left the hotel and walked around in Bangkok was, in a word, overwhelming. Crowds, cars, mopeds, honking, sights, sounds, smells, electrical wires, food stalls, market stalls, people everywhere. Bangkok's official population is around 9 million people, and the greater Bangkok area has a population of almost 12 million. I know you might be thinking how horrible that sounds but read on. I actually really, really liked Bangkok and would like to go back.

Not sure these electrical wires are up to code!

 

I made my way to the riverbank to negotiate for a long-tailed boat tour of the river and canals. An elaborate network of canals (khlongs) gave Bangkok the nickname "Venice of the East", however lots of the canals have been filled in to make streets. Many khlongs still exist with people living along them and markets often being operated along the banks, but most are severely polluted and pretty disgusting. Still the canals are a great way to see the city (and even have their own system of locks to go from the main wide river Chao Phraya in/out of the canals). The private long-tail boat is a nice, but loud, way to travel. I would suggest some earplugs as the motor is in the boat with you, and just the propellor is in the water. Everything was going well until the skies opened up and it started pouring rain. I now know what Forrest Gump was talking about when he said it was raining straight up from underneath!

 

The engine is located IN the boat

 

There are over 400 temples in Bangkok (out of the approximately 4,000 in Thailand). A temple without an educated explanation doesn't mean much, so I decided to go on a guided Temple and City Tour. I'm very intrigued with Buddhism actually - not so much as a religion, but as a way of life. Thai culture is very beatiful, and much of this has to do with their practice of Buddhism. Our guide was wonderful and very patient with everyone's questions. My favorite part is that it focuses on man and actions, not on gods. The main ideas are karma and reincarnation. Good and bad deeds in this life will be merits or punishments in the next. All actions have consequences. Inside temples, the proper sitting position is cross legged - do not point your feet at Buddha or at other people, this is an insult as the feet are considered the lowest part of body.  

 



The Golden Buddha at Wat Traimit - wasn't discovered until 1955 when it was being moved, and the plaster covering it cracked when the crane broke under its weight (5.5 tonnes!)

 That evening I decided to go to Siam Niramit, "the must-see show of Thailand," with a group from my hotel. There was a lovely older American gentleman who worked for - get this - the PCAOB (an accounting regulatory body that has a lot to do with companies like mine). He was in Bangkok for a global regulatory meeting with all the big accounting firms, and Michael Andrew was even there (the KPMG Global Chairman). Also there was a nice German couple. And the fattest man I've ever seen walking. The Germans thought for sure he was American (because he was fat) and it turned out he was German hahahahha!!!! I'm finding that I tend to get along with the Germans when I travel, something I never thought would be true. But I always seem to be drawn to their sense of order and calmness. And they seem to be drawn to my light-heartedness, inappropriate humor, and "wow an American who travels". We give each other knowing looks and share inside jokes, even after meeting only minutes before. Maybe it's my 50% German blood coursing through these veins.

 

The show was amazing, performed on apparently the tallest stage in the world (in the Guinness Book of World Records) and has over 500 costumes. It basically tells little stories to help illustrate the history of various regions in Thailand. One of the tales shows a version of Nirvana, and a version of Hell (or purgatory, before being reincarnated), including the actions that will send you there and the corresponding punishments. Drinking alcohol? Made to drink boiling water. Sexual misconduct? Made to climb a painful tree of thorns. I lost track after the alcohol one, thinking I need to seriously reassess my life. There was of course a section requiring audience member participation. First, some background. I was wearing this dress from Zara that I bought ages ago. It still miraculously fits, pretty much due to the stretchy material. Anywho, the woman picking people out of the audience walks towards me....and I realise that I CANNOT go up on stage. I literally start screaming in my head, hoping she was telepathic, "No! No! No! My dress is see through!" Kind of like the little boy in "The Shining." See, the dress is fine for a night on the town, dinner, sitting at a show, etc....but get me in front of a spotlight and I'd be like Monica singing "Delta Dawn" in the Friends episode, The One Where Monica Sings. Well I don't know if it was telepathy or the sheer look of sweaty terror on my face, but she chose the guy next to me. Crisis averted.

 

Anyway the show was nice, and there were even 2 live elephants! They were out front for photos and rides before the show, in the act itself, and then after the show they were brought directly outside while we all exited. These poor big guys didn't even get a break. Well, one decided to take some time for himself and started pooping. People kind of started giggling -- I immediately started moving away. Then the big boy let loose a gushing river of urine. I thought Noah's Arc may be necessary for those who hadn't found higher ground. People were running, kids were crying, and women were screaming. High heels were ruined that night in Bangkok, folks. By a massive river of pee.

The elephant who sent people running

 

All in all, I had a great time in Bangkok and would have liked to spent more time there. But, off to Chiang Mai I headed - to the land of elephants and tigers....and LOTS of rain (while I was there anyway)! More to come.

 

The views of kids playing from my river cruise

Along the river cruise

Wat Benchamabophit - "the marble temple"

Wat Pho - the 3rd largest reclining Buddha in the world

The "prangs" (spires) outside temples - they appear with important religious buildings

A Day in Singapore

The Republic of Singapore is a city-state at the tip of the Malay Peninsula, less than a hundred miles north of the equator. It's hot. It was occupied by the Japanese in WWII and reverted to British rule after the war, then united with other former British territories to form Malaysia in 1963. It became a fully independent state two years later. Since then it has had a massive increase in wealth. Singapore is a world leader in several areas; financial centre, casino gambling market, oil refining, and logistics. The port of Singapore is one of the busiest ports in the world and thousands of ships drop anchor here. All this leads to Singapore having the world's highest percentage of millionaire households, with 15% of households being millionaires (in USD)! 

Singapore Harbour

Port of Singapore - just imagine all the illegal stuff in those containers!

The judicial system in Singapore is somewhat famous, who can forget the controversy that gripped America and even got President Bill Clinton involved (a mistake in my opinion), surrounding the caning of 18 year old Michael Fay for vandalism?  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_P._Fay  Singapore uses caning (as corporal punishment) for things like rape, rioting, vandalism, etc. Crimes like murder and some drug-trafficking carry a mandatory death penalty. Amnesty International has said that Singpore has "possibly the highest execution rate in the world relative to its population". The crime rate in Singapore is very very very low, so needless to say I was not worried about my safety in the least. As always, I try to research a country before I go, since once there I must follow their laws and customs....such as the ban on chewing gum and being conservative in dress (not that I normally dress like a hoochie or anything).

My first glimpse of Singapore from the air was of the massive and busy port, with all the ships coming, going, or waiting. Once on the ground, I went through immigration, got my bags, got changed, and found a place to hold my suitcase. I have to take a moment to rave about the Singapore airport. I have seen my fair share of airports through the years and this is my favorite so far. I could have easily spent 3 or 4 hours just hanging out. It has a butterfly house, a rooftop pool area, sleeping rooms for rent, an enforced-quiet nap area, tons of shopping and spas, etc. But I wanted to see the city, so I caught the train. Once in the city I then tried to find my way around all these crazy barricades. I had chosen to arrive on the morning after the Grand Prix (Formula 1), so all the streets were still blocked off, the grandstands still up, litter blowing around empty streets. I finally found my way to the Singapore Flyer, the biggest observation wheel in the world and took a spin. 

Singapore Flyer

 I then walked over the Helix Bridge to the Marina Bay Sands area. In the casino area, there are 2 theatres for productions, a huge multi-level mall, ice skating rink....it's like Vegas on steroids. I literally had to rip myself away from the shops and headed to the hotel towers so I could go up on the observation deck. After taking a look around, I ponied on up to the bar, next to a few decent looking blokes (there were plenty of blokey guys around, being the day after the F1). And I proceeded to order a Singapore Slammer. The lovely and friendly bartender just smiles and says "I think you mean a Singapore Sling, that's what's famous." I got a few snickers from the peanut gallery of cute guys. Ah well, no better ice-breaker than making an ass of yourself! So I chatted with the group for awhile and sipped my $30 Singapore Sling while gazing out over a beautiful (if somewhat polluted and hazy) view. One of the guys (from Sydney) even walked me downstairs to tuck me in a cab. Actually he asked what I was doing the rest of the day. But who can forget Bridget Jones' Diary 2 or Brokedown Palace; where a handsome stranger dupes girls into unknowingly carrying drugs and end up in Thai prisons? No thank you.  

Helix Bridge, Marina Bay Sands, Casino, Art Museum

 Walking through the CBD I accidentally ran smack into....wait for it.....the KPMG office! There's no getting away!  I decided to do a bus tour around the city, and after that it was time to get back on the train to the airport. Right during rush hour - we were packed in like sardines, which reminded me of Chicago. I can't wait to someday go back, see some more sights, go to the Botanic Gardens, go to Sentosa, and go shopping on the famous Orchard Road. Too many places to see! Separate blog posts will cover the rest of my trip to Thailand, stay tuned!