Wherever you go, there you are

I've been informed several times that I haven't been very good at keeping this darn thing updated. In response I usually joke about how I'm having too much fun to write about it. That's partially true. But also true, and what people may not want to know, is that my life is actually a little boring (well at least during the week). Yes, it is exciting that I'm here and get paid (well) to be here. But let's not forget that I still have the same work, career, social, romantic etc pressures and concerns - one might say they've been compounded in a way. One thing I've observed in my travels is that life is essentially the same everywhere (at least in developed countries where our basic needs are met...let's not go there for now). One of my strongest memories capturing this sentiment was walking back to my flat in London, in the rain of course, looking at all the faces passing by. They all looked the same; had the same things and pressures on their minds. It brings to mind the REM music video to "Everybody Hurts". I remember my 21 year old self thinking, "How can they be so sad? Don't they know they live in LONDON?!" And I know that's what you must be thinking of me now.

 

Let's not feel too sorry for me though:) I have been very lucky to have done a whole lot of traveling in my life. (Well, luck is only one component, the rest is making it happen.) My dad laughs at me when I talk about my ever-growing list of places I want to see. He says that most people have a bucket list, but that my bucket list is only one item - I want to do and see it ALL! It's true - the more I see the more I want to do, but it gets me thinking. What a reflection of society, but particularly I think of people my age. And particularly of women my age. I don't mean to leave the men out, please don't stop reading guys. You might learn something. I'm having a hard time putting this in words, but I want to make some sort of commentary on this culture of "more more more" in which I've been an active participant. For some people it's about money, but for me it has been more about experience - particularly for the last 5 or 6 years I have been running around trying to make up for time that I thought I lost. Turns out you can't really make up for lost time, because there is no lost time. It's just time. But this general idea that women (or anyone) can "have it all" is a little concerning, even arrogant and selfish. Choices must be made somewhere along the way. I wouldn't give up my experiences for anything (and wow have I had some awesome ones!) but it also gets me thinking about what I want out of life....no clear answers yet....but here's to hoping that someday I find myself wanting to be exactly where I am. Even the fact that I am longing a little for "contentedness" (if that's a word) says a lot about how far I've come. Now let's not pretend I had to go across the globe in search of clarity; sounds a little too "Eat Love Pray" for me, and I hated that damn book. I'm just saying we can all use a little kick in the ass once in awhile, have you had yours lately? The best and most meaningful ones are from yourself, by the way. For now, signing off as a stranger in a not-so-strange-but-different land.

PS In all seriousness, I started this blog with the intent to write about my experiences and the fun things I'm doing, and it has turned very introspective. But a blog is a somewhat self-centered by nature.  I don't blame you if you don't want to read about me me me me me me.....so then don't read it! It's my blog and I'll do what I damn well please!